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Relaxation

Settling - Step by Step

Goal: Help your dog build the habit of relaxing and feeling safe on their own.

Take your time with puppies & new dogs. Allow them a few weeks or more to bond and feel safe settling next to you before building settled alone time. 

Step 1: Create a Relaxation Area

To help both you and your dog relax, select a specific "relaxation area" where you can consistently spend 30 minutes or more daily. You can signal that it's time to unwind by using reliable, repeatable cues such as playing specific music, turning on the TV, or laying out their mat. Predictable signals and patterns help establish an easy-to-follow routine, allowing both of you to quickly and automatically transition into a relaxed state.

🎯 Checkpoint: Is your dog entering the designated area willingly, staying calmly, and showing no signs of distress or unwillingness to be there? If yes, move to:

Step 2: Make Your Actions Irrelevant

To help your dog understand they are "off-duty," practice ignoring them while you go about your daily tasks. Provide them with a comfortable spot (a mat, bed, a cool surface, or a place in the sun) within your chosen relaxation area.

While your dog rests in their designated spot, move around the room acting as if they are not there: touch the doorknob, open and close the door, and even take one step outside. This exercise teaches your dog to relax and remain calm despite normal household activity.

End these sessions before your dog asks to leave. This means some days the sessions might be only 5 minutes if you know they’re going to struggle.

If you start in a quiet office space, do not immediately expect your dog to settle in a busy living room. Instead, move slowly and incrementally through different environments to ensure success.

Surprising fact: puppies sleep 18–20+ hours a day in short play-then-crash bursts for rapid growth, adult dogs average 12–14 hours, and senior dogs often snooze 14–20 hours daily.

🎯 Checkpoint: Is your dog willingly going into the area with you and able to keep their eyes closed a bit as you move around the room? Move to:

Step 3: Easing Into Alone Time

Start leaving the relaxation area for 1–5 seconds at random times and be aware of your dog’s response. With practice, their expectation to follow you should gradually fade. Use everyday moments like coffee refills, walking to the mailbox, or bathroom trips to step away naturally.

Be patient and consistent with both of you. If you’ve practiced meditation, you know stillness may feel hard at first. Calm is something we build with practice, not force.

To set yourselves up for success, always ensure your dog has had adequate exercise, mental stimulation, or social interactions, and a chance to go potty before you begin a session.

A few links that can also help

Take a look at all three R E L A X A T I O N strategies: Settling, Stationing/Mat Work, and Containing in any order that works for you.

CONTAINMENT 

STATIONING/MAT 

Additional Support - 

Sue Sternberg’s Leash Settling Protocol 

Karen Overall’s Relaxation Protocol 

Containment in Small Spaces

Goal: Your dog feels comfortable sleeping in small spaces without you nearby
Make sure your dog has had a chance to potty, exercise, mental stimulation, and social time before starting.

STEP 1: Create Positive Associations with the Space

Introduce a crate or an exercise pen in the area where your dog already likes to settle. Keep the crate door open and place something amazing inside: you can secure food in the back, like a frozen Toppl or sticky lick mat. (Go to the canine enrichment guide for detailed instructions)

When you start conditioning a new containment area, it’s important that they can choose to leave when they want. After a few sessions, if your dog is entering that area on their own you can begin interacting with the door, such as touching it, closing and opening it, closing it for very short periods. If you're not making progress, try the crate games suggestions below.

🎯 Checkpoint: Does your dog go into the crate on their own, and can handle the door being closed for a minute or so? Move to

STEP 2: Build Independence With You Nearby

Once you can keep the door or gate closed with no concerns, try to move around the room while they calmly remain inside. When you walk across the room or sit close by without interacting with your dog, you are ignoring them the entire time (scroll on your phone, for example).

🎯 Checkpoint: Does your dog ignore you when you move? Move to

STEP 3: Gradually Add Short Absences

Randomly step out of sight for 1 to 5 seconds. Once your dog shows no excitement over your departure, start extending the time you leave.

Do you need to use the restroom? Does your coffee need a refill? Can you take a walk to the mailbox?

Troubleshooting

This is a process, not a race. Ask yourself:

  • Is my dog at a developmental stage where separation is harder?
  • How much trust have we built together?
  • Are these steps too challenging? Is the house too busy today?

If your dog cannot handle the small size of a crate or exercise pen, consider taking the same steps in a gated bathroom or laundry room. Once they've settled into a small room, you can reintroduce an exercise pen, followed by a crate.

The process works best when neither of you is struggling through repetitions. Quality over quantity. Fold this training into your daily routine. Pushing too hard or moving too fast can set back your progress.

YouTube Video Playlist for Crate Conditioning

Crate Games —

  • Get your treats set up in a container on top of the crate or in an easy access pocket or treat pouch.
  • If your Pup is hesitating with coming near the crate door, you can put them on a leash to keep them near the entry.
  • Look in the crate and act interested in going in, see if your Pup will choose to go in as you look inside ( don’t look at your Pup, look where you want them ).
  • When one foot steps in or towards the crate you can mark using the word ‘YES' or ‘YIP’ or use a CLICKER. After you mark you can toss in a treat towards the back of the crate, once they are all the way in, add lots of treats.
  • If they are hesitant to go in, consider putting a mat you’ve worked with during stationing work, 1/2 in and 1/2 out of the crate. Wait them out until the move towards the mat, reward when they touch the mat.
  • If they keep going away from the crate door, RE-BOOT, get up, walk around, breathe deep and get them engaged with you… maybe play a tug game. Head toward the crate knowing they’ll go in this time. Look in as you head to the crate keep your attention forward and moving and excited.

Trust them, trust you…energetically focus on them going into any contained space.

Building the STAY duration

Advanced Crate Games : https://youtu.be/3M7f1sfV6pc

As you succeed, the door doesn’t have to close each time.

Be patient and confident, allow the dog to make choices.

You can keep one hand on the door such that your dog won’t escape, you just close the door (don’t slam the door, close it ) If the dog is not succeeding, take some steps back, and release and reward more often than I did in the above old crate game video.

If you want to build you STAY behavior you can add distractions to the containment training as your pup succeeds.

  • Open the door & pick up the leash & snap the clip. Any forward movement, close the door.
  • Open the door & delay feeding the sit position
  • Open the door and move your body to a new place
  • Open the door & move in a semi-circle around the front
  • Open the door & a few steps away
  • Open the door & ignore him for a bit
  • Open the door & move in a full circle around the crate

much more advanced —

  • Open the door & toss a toy
  • Open the door & run away

After we build up their food fluency, you will be able to practice with food distractions outside the crate such as opening the door & drop a treat just in front of the crate and then reward your dog’s good choice by picking up and hand feeding it to your dog.

Stationing

“Go To Your Spot!” 🐕 The Power of Stationing

Goal: Your dog running to and laying down on a mat or any SPOT without hesitation

Step 1: Build value for the mat/spot

Sit/kneel near the mat. Place a treat on the mat. Look at the mat and be ready for your dog to step on it, feed 2–5 treats in a row on the mat. Toss a reset treat away so they leave, then repeat.

🎯 Checkpoint: Does your dog return to the mat on their own? Move to

Step 2: Add a down on the mat

As your dog returns, cue, lure or wait for a down. Feed 2–5 treats between their paws to encourage staying. Toss a reset treat and repeat. Try repeating these steps while standing.

🎯 Checkpoint: Is your dog offering a down without needing the cue? Move to

Step 3: Add a cue and change positions

As your dog goes to the mat, say your cue: “Go to your Spot,” “Place,” “Mat,” etc. Feed 2–5 treats on the station. Toss a reset treat, take a step in a different direction, and cue again. Continue to move away from the station, heading back often to reward when your dog is staying.

Keep sessions short and simple. 2–10 minutes can make a big difference.

Only good things happen at stations. When your dog chooses to go to a station you've trained, reward that decision with praise, a treat, a favorite toy, or even quiet time together nearby.

Try Karen Overall’s Relaxation Protocol (MP3 files here) for structured practice.

Stationing gives them a job to do practice during:

  • 🍳 Meal prep: Station just outside the kitchen, this keeps them from being a trip hazard and helps prevent counter surfing.
  • 📞 Calls: Mat at your feet with a chew
  • 🎬 TV: While watching TV get out a mat and chew for your Pup
  • 🚪 Guest arrivals: Train that a knock or doorbell ringing = go to your spot
  • 🌿 Outdoor time: Use a mat in the yard or on the patio after walks, this can translate to having them settle in public options

Why It Works

Predictable + Rewarding

The mat becomes a go-to calm zone for chews, praise, and treats build strong positive associations.

Built-In Boundaries

Your dog learns to opt out without conflict.

Life Skills in Action

You’re not just preventing chaos, you’re teaching your dog how to settle and self-regulate, even in busy environments.

🐾 How to self-settle amid daily activity
💖 That calm behavior earns rewards

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